Upfront, Honest and Real

hello everyone!!
today’s post is a little (or a lot) different for me to post. but it is something upfront, honest and real…

so I seem to have an issue..and i am so sure that there are so many others out there that feel the same.. well at least i hope i am not the only one…

I am inflicted with that dreaded disease of ENVYITIS (i don’t even think that is a word is it????) ….
but do you understand what i am talking about…..

today i am admitting to you all that i have such envy of you all; those creative out there… so much so that sometimes I end up just flicking through ‘pages’ on the internet and hoping to become inspired in order to create a somewhat decent project in order for someone else (or company) to like it… instead of just creating to create.. to release… to enjoy

I’ve done this for so many years, I recognize I am doing it… but somehow find I can not stop myself from the endless continuous cycle of

sitting in front of the TV with lap top on my lap
flipping through the on screen world
oh I love how (s)he creates I should try that
and
why can’t I make pretty things like (s)he does
then
I wonder if I create this if ‘they’ will like it
head to studio (another day)
so I’ve created this piece and ‘they’ didn’t like it
why do I bother creating if ‘they’ aren’t going to notice
that is it… out you go mojo I’m done with you
back to flicking through the screen world
oh what a cool stamp i should order that as i absolutely love what (s)he has done with it..
i am going to try to make something with that stamp too
purchase and dig out all the supplies needed to make the project to realize that it looks nothing like the original idea i had intended
to
why can’t i paint in the lines!!
why do i bother thinking i can create worthy things
now what….
flicking the pages on the internet and wishing i could create like (s)he does

until next time my friends
diana